Ok, that title may be a bit consfusing, but if you've taken the theater arts 60 series (theater history, theory, and pratice) then you'll get it. Otherwise, don't worry.
Well it's way to early in the morning for me to be awake considering I've got a midterm later this morning. (it's 4am right now and I've got a 10am class.) It's lighting class, and not to be overconfident but I do know the material well. Probably the only class the whole time I've been here at UCSC that I've compleetly kept up with the reading. But hey, lighting, it's my thing, makes sense.
Well I wanted to post this just cuz it's like I'm "in the moment" right now, and didn't want to loose it over some sleep.
Just had a fucking amazing chat (instant message chat that is) with a good friend about stuff and such. Kinda got down to me and my sexuality later on. I kinda got really emotional as it went on. But it was really good to finally talk to someone about it. I had talked to friends about it and such here and there, but never in the most compleet depth that I just did this morning. I just did some word counts in in MS Word, and well.... Damn. Quick stats:
21 pages long, rough word count of 4500 words, duration of 2 hours and 15 mins. Holly shit.
For the most part I had really been totaly about myself about these things. Having only come out just about 3 months ago, I've really had only a little amount of time to establish myself. So to finaly talk to someone about all the things that I had been thinking about and feeling for the past 4 years, from discovery to questioning to coming out, it was just, well, amazing. I mean I don't think I've ever cried over a chat, but I did on this one.
I have to say I'm emotionally drained after this, but it was well worth it.
What was also interseting, was all the tunes I had recently added to iTunes. Over the past 2 weeks or so I had a significant number of tunes that played that really hit chords during this time. Here's a list of the ones that I remember really hitting hard. (in order of play)
"title" artist (fyi)
It all started with:
"Lover I Don't Have To Love" Bright Eyes
"Human Love" Dirty Vegas
"Brand New Lover" Dead Or Alive
"You Think You're a Man" Full Frontal
"I Feel Love" Donna Summers/Blue Man Group (I have both versions)
"Mary" Scissor Sisters
"Dreams" The Cranberries (A capella version by Univ. North Carolina Lorelis)
"I Thought She Knew" N Sync
"Three Little Birds" Bob Marley
"Boulevard of Broken Wonderwalls" Green Day & Oasis
"Music Is The Victim" Scissor Sisters
and then when it was clear that we were approaching the end, to go to sleep, I fast jumped to:
"You Spin Me 'Round" Gigi D'agostino (origonal by Dead Or Alive)
"Living In America" James Brown
"I'm So Excited" The Pointer Sisters
Wow... that's a long list. Looking back on it I find how ironic that some of those songs came up. Particularly the lyrics on many really hit home.
Ah well, just wanted to get this down while it was still fresh.
So I shal now head to getting some sleep as I said I would earlier...
*Deep breath out*