So my weekly attempts have been a bit off mark here. However in my defense I DID post stuff to the site as a whole. DJ Eth section was updated a bunch this week including the posting of a new mix. Check it out.
However this area didn't. And while there is a strange pattern since the last blog entry, we'll it's a bit odd. First disclaimer here, this is probably gonna be kinda an "emo" post or whatever, and I have no idea where it's gonna go.

So moving along. Now of course I know probably many if not all of involved persons will read this, so this please know this isn't a way to say something and avoid saying it directly to you. As many of you know this blog serves as an outlet to me so that is what this post (like many others) is. I merely need to get some of my thoughts and feelings out into text. That said, move on.

Lately I've been reacting weirdly to things. Namely stuff of close friends on Facebook. I pick up one little shred of info and I demand to know details. Like I'm fucking entitled to every damn detail. Felt rather foolish about that, but moved on from it. But more importantly I really got a taste of the power of words. Now I should really be aware of this. Hell I'm sure I've preached the power of words in conversation and quite sure it's come up a few times on this blog. So how could I be so fucking careless? Casual message, don't think much of it, good intentions. But when we immediately make things secondary it triggers an innate defense mechanism.
Ah, ok I had to go look this up. Loss aversion, as I remember it (wiki it here) is this whole concept of how we will inherently choose decisions that will avoid us the cost of loosing something. Simple test/example. Two scenarios: A) You're at the theater ticket line, you walk up you are the 1000th customer of the day, and you win $50. B) You're in line, the guy in front of you is the 1000th and wins $300, you being 1001 win $100. Which one do you choose? Think about it. Ok read on.

Now believe it or not most people in a test would choose A. But B clearly gets you twice the money! However it is the fact that you could have been the 1000th customer and gotten $300 that outweighs the fact you would have actually gotten more money. The example in the wikipedia article is that the mental satisfaction loss of loosing $100 is greater than the gained satisfaction of winning $100.
Basically by this we're generally loosing more than we're getting and we're all fucked. No not true, well if you're "loosing" equal to what you're gaining, then mentally yes. I guess this can explain why people get depressed, because their satisfaction is dropping faster than positive things are making up for it.

Ok, so where am I going with this? Well for one that was an interesting and fun bit there. Wasn't expecting that. (Told ya didn't I?) Well case is that if you weren't aware my whole living at home and no job and so on isn't exactly having the greatest of impacts on me. At best I'm still tipping towards slightly depressed. Lately, especially like right now, not feeling too great. But Friday is coming up! And there are plans to be hanging with all of your friends! However it makes sense why I still feel shitty overall. I made some stupid mistakes in some messages, ones I'd like to have thought thru more or just take back altogether. I don't say that much, cuz what has happened has happened. Move on. Moping in the past doesn't get you anywhere. I feel cliché dumping a quote in here but it seems appropriate.
"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." -Alexander Graham Bell

But this is also a case and point study of loss aversion. While the positive prospects of the weekend are very good, the drain of a few (it isn't just one thing, but it's counting for a lot) negatives counts for more. We are very interesting in the way we work, and our minds. Fucking amazing eh? Stuff like this which makes me remember my interest in a Psyc major. However I think knowing that much of how we think would make me go insane, so perhaps not doing that was for the better.
So there ya go, ramble.
The other conclusion of this is that I need to get away from Facebook, AIM, texting, the like. Seriously I have gone OCD over these things. Checking them constantly. Reloading my Facebook inbox awaiting a reply. Checking my phone every few minutes when I send off a text, expecting that ever so prompt reply. And for what? It's just adding layers and layers of stress if nothing else. And what does it bring me? It's an interesting thought of how we've gotten to be so "instant!" and such. Well I must sleep, but this brings some new things to light.