So I promised in my entry the other day that I would talk about the past week and such, and also get up some photos and such. Well here it is! I just proved that I can get to doing blogstuff when I say I will. Let's hope I keep this up. New year right? So anyway this past week my cousin was in town (son of mom's brother), he's 28 and given that I'm the oldest kid and had no job it was my main task to entertain him/take care of things. It was good to see him again and we had a good time hanging out and whatnot. However by the nature of my connection with my family (minus my brother) it meant a week of playing it straight, extremely straight.

So I won't bore you with details of what exactly we did, you probably don't care and it would take me a bit to think to remember. Now first off as I mentioned above he's on my mom's side of the family. He and his immediate family live in Kentucky. Yep. As you are probably guessing that does effect his view on things. As I said it was fun times and whatnot, but he's a major woman guy. As he said he REALLY loves women. Goddie for me eh? This meant I had to do a lot of acting and lying. Lying of course about my sexuality and then acting to pass off as straight. Was it hard at times, of course. I had to really think about stuff. Not to look at guys as they'd walk past, make sure to look at the gals. So on. Make logical replies about women in conversation, like oh yes that actress is totally hot. It really annoyed me so much, for as out as I am, it showed me that I am not on one plane. It also served to give me a perspective of how it was/is being in the closet. Yeah, not fun.
When I took him (and Stephen and David) out to DNA lounge (club) in SF that was probably the single largest bit of acting. The major issue came when we migrated down to the dance floor. As I was the only one dancing (namely cuz I like to and such) thus I was pressured into going and finding women to dance with. Boy oh boy, that was fun. Not. I mean for one I didn't really even know how to go about that. Ok, well really it's not any different, especially since my intentions were innocuous. I got denied by many, which I was fine with honestly.

However the part of this whole thing that bothered me soo much was when my cousin and my dad got talking. And guys in drag came up (talking about SF of course.) My cousin took serious issue with that, and clearly my dad wasn't a fan of it either. There were definitely closed-minded things said there. May I note it's just the three of us left at the dinner table. I'm not saying anything. Then the conversation went to that of the Castro in San Francisco. (If you don't know, that's the gay area.) At this point it really started disturbing me. I don't care to recount the details as they bother me soo much. But basically the general outlook is that we are not normal in any way. That we are bad. We're doing all sorts of crazy stuff at the clubs and bars. That we take it too far. And so on. I'd love to write a bit more about it, but I can't/don't' want to remember the details. I had to leave the table at this point as I was probably scowling deeply as well as I felt a bit sick and scared. It sucked as it was a realization of one of my worst fears, that my dad would NOT accept me and neither would the extended family. Fun times eh?

Well that's a totally downbeat ending. Well again it was fun hanging out and such, despite the hyper-straightness. The upshot of it was when I dropped him off at the airport not because I don't like him, but I didn't have to hear and think about women so much.
In other news briefly: my second turntable that I ordered is due to arrive tomorrow, so expect some new DJ stuff coming soon. Also back to climbing, I'd been slacking majorly and my return to it today was much needed and refreshing/mentally helping. My job scenario is still, getting there. I'm going to send out resume stuff this week, It's been snowing in Tahoe I've been working on trip planning. I'm tired of just sitting around. I need stuff to do, and if people don't give me work I will just start working on my projects, and I have plenty listed. As it is my sites take a deal of work. Well time to end this, so far this year I'm actually keeping up with creating new content. Here's to hoping it keeps up.